Yesterday was my 51st Christmas. That is something to be grateful for in and of itself. But to have been given the gift of 51 happy, full of love and family and food and good tiding's, Christmases? Well, that great fortune has no adequate words to convey my gratitude.
As we grew closer to the holiday season this year, I found myself jazzing up our home here in Houston with lights and Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving!!! Lars was going to be off on Thanksgiving, so I wanted for us to enjoy the start of the holiday season. Everything was done while the two of us had this beautiful turkey meal. I took pause that day thinking about so many people without people. And how an "everything is done" phrase has never been used by me as a teacher. Last year, I was just arriving here in Houston. I was more self involved with adjusting and feeling the homesickness. This year though!! I am a member at Bering (a nearby INCLUSIVE church), I have found more community, and Lars & I have had some time to make our space a home, together. When I heard my church was seeking a dessert donation for a Christmas event, I thought that was a great excuse to try a new cheesecake idea. Then, as December approached and I was really feeling the Spirit, I remembered I was going to make a homemade lasagna for our new neighbors. This would work out well because both of their college aged kids would be home for most of December. I am certain any passionate cook will agree that the ultimate joy in creating dishes is to share them. To watch others smile and maybe even close their eyes as they taste your offering, And then on my 51st birthday - December 7th - I thought to myself - hey, I am going to make my 'burrito-dilla's' that I have done for many years, and on Christmas Day I will go around and offer my love to about 40 people in the Houston area. Not enough, I know. Little did I know that in the span of just a few hours, my 51st Christmas was like sharing the love I have been gifted for all of my Christmases with each person I got to meet. And the love I was given in return was certainly far greater. I can't wait to tell you about my "51 Christmases" here on tableforsue today! Starting with yesterday. (Don't worry, I won't be writing about 51 separate Christmases! ha)
Christmas 2022:
After Lars and I enjoyed his homemade cinnamon rolls, a cup of coffee and opening gifts in our pajama's, I began to assemble my burrito-dilla's! (There's more info on them as you scroll.) I already made the beef and bean filling a day before. I had 36 uncooked flour tortilla's from Cost-Co. I am so glad we got these because they are delicious! I cooked each one individually on the stove top. After filling, wrapping, searing and tinfoil-wrapping each burrito, I kept them warm in the oven. The filling was beef, pinto beans, diced tomatoes, green chilis, onion, garlic, cumin, cayenne, salt and pepper. I made the filling very mild. Before wrapping & searing them, I added a hearty amount of Mexican-Style shredded cheese. At about 2:30pm, my new neighbor and her daughter came over with their bottled water and sweet treat donation. They assembled all 36 bags - 1 bottle of water, 1 bag of chips, 1 hot burrito, 1 sweet. I dropped a note in each bag. We loaded them in a box and got them into my car. (Next time I will double.) If it wasn't for them, this whole assembly would have taken me HOURS!! Bless you Christina & Lauren!
Then off I went - I left the driveway around 3:30pm. I had no plan. I decided to head down into my own neighborhood near a gas station I frequent. I was thinking about giving a couple "treat bags" to the gals working there. Instead, the very first person I spotted when I parked was this 70ish year old caucasian guy heading to the bus stop. I grabbed a bag and approached him. "Hi! Merry Christmas! I am a food blog writer and I made homemade burrito's if you would like one? All beef." He reached for it with a mile long smile and with that super southern twang exclaimed, "Thank you darling!!! You're an angel!" And I blew him a kiss and we bid farewell. The first encounter brought me such a surge of happiness. I knew this was going to be a special day.
The very next guy I saw was young - maybe 20. He was hoping for some cash. I told him I didn't have any, but that I was a food blog writer and I made homemade snacks if he would like some? He said sure and asked for two. When I came back out of the shop, I noticed him sitting with another guy and they were both enjoying a burrito with their eyes closed. I smiled. I then ran back into the shop I was in with two bags for the employees there. I said, "hey guys, Merry Christmas - I made some homemade all beef burritos to share..." They were both completely pumped. They were super grateful and I was so happy to give them some love.
So I ended up going into that gas station I mentioned. There were two clerks and at least five guests. I stood there with a bag of the treat bags for quite a few minutes. The vibe led me to keep moving. It was not bad or good. I just knew that I should keep going. I knew I wanted to take a few freeway underpasses in hopes to find someone there. I decided to head out of Montrose and take one of the freeways just about 15 miles east, I believe. What would end up happening is that I basically went in one direction 15 miles away from home and returned to home a different way. I ended up near the same shops in my neighborhood that I started and it worked out so wonderfully! You will know why when we get there. :)
FIRST UNDERPASS I take - could not have been more perfect. No traffic at all. I spot one guy with a cart full. Another 70 something caucasian male. I pulled over slowly, safely and far ahead of him to not startle him. A few cars were going by, but my car was well out of the way. I grabbed four treat bags and put them in a Trader Joe's tote. I walked up to him and said, "Hello! I made homemade burritos and I would love to share some with you." He said, "Well, there is a lot in my cart, but I think I can find room." Then he asked, "Wait, homemade burritos?" I said, "Yes, they are beef, bean and cheese. No pork. I made them homemade to say Merry Christmas." He then said, "Oh boy, oh boy. Yummy, yummy!" And I blew him a kiss and went on my way. I loved him. Where he was walking I didn't love.
I decided that I was not going to record or take photos unless it absolutely felt appropriate. I felt like I would know if there was a photo opportunity. So far, each encounter had been a loving exchange in every possible way.
I didn't know where I was going, honestly. I did not put anything into my google maps. I just took freeways that were somewhat familiar from attending improv classes downtown or my umteenth trips to the airport. I went by the ferris wheel, I think. I didn't take "Cleveland", but instead stayed right toward Belmont? All I know is I drove for about 15 miles and something told me to take the "Lockwood" exit. I would say it was going on about 4:30. I immediately passed a gas station on my right, but it was a one way so I continued straight. Bingo! Saw a handsome African American guy about my age also with a cart. I pulled over all the way to the right, There was light traffic and plenty of room to drive by. Illegal, yes? Dangerous, no. I am rebellious, but not an idiot. I lowered my passenger side window and he had already waved hello before I even pulled over. He was super concerned about bad drivers hitting my car, so I backed my car up into a closed business quite smoothly with his help, I told him I made homemade burritos for Christmas and he asked how many he could take. I was still in my car, but told him to go ahead and open the passenger back door and take as many as you would like. He grabbed four bags and said thanks so much. He asked for some help with some cash to get out of the cold. I told him I needed to stop for gas so I would meet him over across the street at that gas station I passed. Gas stations are a pretty good spot to find people who would love a hot lunch. Well, once I parked, I saw my new friend share the other bags with some other guys in the parking lot - oxoxox!!! I got out of my car and told him I would go get some cash and be right back. He said he'd watch my car. I smiled. His friend was set up at this little card table in the parking lot. He had these cool shades on. Big huge smile. I ran into the gas station. It was hopping! Like a line of folks playing slot machines. I was in the kind of neighborhood that I vibe with. It is just the way it is. Deal. I grabbed some cash and this other guy about a decade older or so, also African American, said I looked familiar. Well, right before that, he entered the store, saw me, and said, "ooooo, you're beautiful!!!" My eyes lit up when I saw his sweet face! When he said I looked familiar, I told him I had made homemade burritos and please come take a bag. He followed me to my car where my other friend was standing. I grabbed them some bags and shared that I was a food blog writer. We laughed and hugged and my friend who watched my car asked where else I was headed. He wanted me to be careful. It was so genuine. I gave him a $20 knowing that he definitely needed some help getting to his next destination. He was so grateful. THEN - well, read the photo caption:
One of my strengths is that I remember names. Greeting people, knowing their name, sharing mine. I am good at that. Well, I shit the bed during a great highlight of my day by not recalling our name exchange. I cannot let that discourage or take away from this magical meeting. So, my friend on the left, with the ski cap, he watched my car. The gentleman on the right with the pink cap was the guy I met inside the gas station. After we chatted a bit, I shared that I was a food blog writer and I love making food for people. I told them it would be my dream to have them on my cooking show one day! I asked if we could get a photo for my food blog and they were both elated to! When I gave my food treats to my guy on the right, he looked at me and said, "YOU!! - I wonder what else you are going to do with allllll of those blessings! You're a blessing!" It made me want to cry, but I just hugged him real tight and started toward my car. Once I got in, that's when my other friend ensured I was going to be safe. He then asked, "Are you married?" I said nope. He asked if I had ever been with a black guy. I said, many, many, many! His eyes brightened. I said, "Right now, I am just getting my Christmas on. But I love you and thank you for this!" I pulled away with the sight of warm, happy faces taking bites of the tinfoil wrapped burritos with the steam billowing up indicating they were still warm, and the waves made my tears take over the skin on my face.
These two guys are angels! And I love them.
A little break from the remainder of my journey - and believe me, it continues to be full of love! If you shop at Cost-Co, they had a package of 36 uncooked flour tortilla's for a very reasonable price. They took seconds on each side and I used chopsticks to flip them. I laid them all out on parchment paper to cool a bit.
This is where I fill them, top with cheese, wrap and then sear on both sides by adding a touch of olive oil to the medium high heat pan. Then, I individually wrap them and place them in a 250 degree oven to heat all of the way through while still keeping a crispy exterior.
The assembled bags - I added a note saying, "I love you! Merry Christmas! Tableforsue.com"
Thankyou Christina & Lauren for packaging & donating water & sweets! You both are so appreciated! New neighbor love❤️
Okay, so I am taking off from Lockwood and decided to take heed at my friend's advice and map myself back toward Montrose. I was more observant than usual, of course, because I was looking for anyone I thought would really love a warm burrito. Somehow, I ended up on Alabama via Memorial Parkway and there were no folks in sight. And then I saw this very young fella, about 19, 20. He was quite happy. Walking down the sidewalk in a onesie, Christmas pajama set listening to headphones and carrying a nice looking iron. I pulled into a parking lot ahead of him, got out of my car and said, "Hi! Merry Christmas! Would you like a homemade beef and bean burrito that I made myself?" He slipped his head phones off and I repeated myself, adding that I am a food blog writer and I am just offering some homemade Christmas treats. He was so happy to grab a few bags. He put one in his backpack and began opening the other bag. He then showed me his very grand find - the iron - and alerted me to the fact that it was already claimed and I could not purchase it. He then shared that he would absolutely never ever mess with a buddy's girl. I told him that's a great motto to live by, he gave me a high five and a warm smile and continued musically meandering down the sidewalk taking bites of that still warm burrito.
I filled up my tank at my local Shell by Torchy's and offered three bags to the employees there and a few other guys standing outside. They were all so grateful, so warm, so appreciative. I kept feeling this overwhelming amount of happiness watching them enjoy this food I made for them. I figured I would head back down to that original part of my neighborhood with the CBD shop and my frequent gas station stop, where I started. I had about 10 bags left. I parked in my same spot and saw a man laying on the bus stop bench covered in newspaper. I delicately walked up to him with 2 bags and whispered, "I made these homemade burritos. Merry Christmas." He smiled and said thank you. When I walked away, he began eating. oxoxo ahhhhh! I noticed a very young kid around the corner who set up a blanket and had his belonging's laid out on the blanket. Caucasian kid. By the way, my onesie Christmas pajama friend was African. (I usually choose to give some descriptions of people when I am writing; so you can visualize the person. Any descriptions I use are meant with love & celebration.) I went up to this young man and said I had some homemade Christmas treats if he'd like. He timidly accepted and looked me straight in my eyes and asked, "What's your name?" "Sue," I said. What's yours? He shook my hand again and said Chris. I hugged him gently and said Merry Christmas. After meeting Chris, I noticed 3 young boys smoking a spliff just hanging out. They greeted me with "Happy Holidays." I shared that I made homemade burritos and that I am a food blog writer and offered them a bag. They all three happily accepted. I ran to my car, grabbed three more bags and gave them to this very 'chill trio' of sweet, twenty-something guys. One of them was so gracious to have me punch my name into his phone so he could follow me & promote tableforsue.com on instagram. Pretty awesome!
After meeting the 'chill trio', I parked by the gas station because I saw another man with a cart across the street. As I went to grab four more bags, I noticed another gal, about my age, trans-gal, carrying a lot of things. Her water bottles were leaking, it was chilly outside, and she looked pretty lost. I said, "Hi, I'm Sue. I am a food blog writer and I made some homemade beef and bean burritos. Would you like some?" Well, she was just precious. "Hi Sue! My name is Jimmy. Thank you so much! I would love to try them!" I grabbed another bag from my trunk and we got Jimmy set up with a better system to carry her things. I gave her 4 food bags and then ran across the street with the final two bags and placed them in the guy's cart (he was no longer standing by his cart, but Jimmy assured me, he would be back).
I headed home with both a full heart knowing that I made some very loving connections, but also a fiery jolt of determination to more rapidly uncover ways to do more and perhaps, moreover, ways to facilitate showing how much beauty and humanity there is out there. The people that many of us either do not have the time of day for or who you fear out of prejudgments, are some of the most resilient, heartfelt, soulful teachers that we have. I journeyed around yesterday without plans or direction. I just drove more slowly and observed people more carefully. In no time, there were friends from very young to very old, from various cultural backgrounds, different stories, varied circumstances, on the streets or working that hourly, Christmas wage who effortlessly, without condition, exchanged love with me, a stranger. If you really stop and think about that - who even does that anymore? If you look up from your phone, you'll see that it's not many. 36 bags is great. 200 would be better. But even one hello is really, really special. I think.
Do any of you believe in "The Law of Attraction?" You know, putting out at least 51% positivity per day over negativity? Little by little, that 51% gets higher and higher. I am a fan of the book called "The Secret Power" by Rhonda Byrne. There's also a thing about it on Netflix - "The Secret." The one thing that I think kind of bugs me is when it is implied that the REASON for putting out the good; putting out the positive is BECAUSE of what you get in return. Again, it is implied in the text and in the Netflix show, but maybe that is not the intent. I like to think the more accurate conclusion is that if we all did put out more good, more positive, then we all benefit for the good. Giving, receiving, taking time for one another - the greater the diversity the more widespread the stories! The more awesome the connections.
I have so many blessings! I simply had to do something, however small, for people out there on Christmas Day. I didn't want it to be like Thanksgiving where we sat with a feast for two. Look at these blessing's - Lars bought us matching slippers for the 11 cold days a year and he so sweetly decorated with icicles so I could have a bit of Minnesota in Texas. (I know a lot of people who could use these slippers...)
I absolutely am a food person! Lars is a food person! I write about food, I make food, we are constantly all about food and wine and food. I honor that Lars is an accomplished, brilliant surgeon and he should dang well be able to splurge on his favorite things (which are often my favorite things - win/win - wink), but as my wonderful mom, Frankie, would say, "...this does make me a little nervous." In regard to the amount of food for two. I will say though, we are both exceptional about not wasting. We just remain overweight. Anyway, the best damn char-coot-er-y because dat cheese and dat shrimp and we made the cocktail sauce with fresh horseradish and I am cuckoo for fresh horseradish. So yes, I have much to be grateful for. Giving back is putting gratitude into action, I think, and not just words. Not that words are not also very lovely. In today's society, some would argue that gratitude, connection, appreciation, communication, interaction, etc are scarce in both the words and the action department. I'd agree. Let me pause - I do not mean to harp. I seriously have always been one of those, "...we can totally all get along, but I'd like to sock ya one sometimes...." types of people. Frankie let me watch way too much of Laura Ingall's Wilder/Little House on the Prairie! Just like be more loving and say please and thank you and pitch in and .... well, you know? I do not want to lecture. I just think we all could benefit from making more good space in our lives - whatever that may mean for everyone. Can't hurt, huh? I wish that for you.
That wine!! Ay, yi, yi! That cheese was the best I have ever had ever.
More from my 51st Christmas with Lars - my 2nd Christmas in Houston. These meals that I get to create and enjoy with Lars. It is one of the only things, food, that we have in common. An example of us never wasting - I grabbed left over, riced cauliflower, shredded a potato, used a block of shredded, sharp cheddar, an egg, some spices, spoonful of sour cream, few - 3 or 5 drops of Peri-Peri hot sauce, touch of flour and made a yummy filling. I balled the filling and rolled em in panko that I mixed with 'everything but the bagel spice'. I froze them balls. When ready, we shallow pan fried em with grape seed oil. They were delicious! However you make balls - and there are a gazillion, fun ways, I recommend freezing before baking/frying. Don't mind that pepto-bismol looking sauce. I made like a yogurt dipping sauce with nice heat, but when I folded in left over homemade cranberry sauce, it turned it pink instead of the red I was going for. I sucked in art class too. Lars was offended by the mere sight of the sauce. To me, it tasted very delectable, but I would never serve it or even share a photo of it on Jimmy Kimmel Live. The second photo is this beautiful steak that Lars always sous vi's first and he made a corn/spinach dish with left overs. This is like December menu stuff... Ay yi yi!! It's a food blog, after all. :)
I give back because look at the places I go? The people I spend time with. I am so thankful to have people. Here is Sonoma, CA December 2022 with Lars and three of his kids. Every time we go here, I am taken back by the beauty of it all. This was my favorite visit though - the five of us!
-from left Me, Lexie, Sarah, Liz, Lars-
I get a roof over my head with so many conveniences to keep me warm and fed and loved. To top it all off, Lars' daughter, Sarah, sends these homemade peanut butter bars that she said they always made with Lars' mom, their Mimi during the holidays! With so many things to be grateful for, in this picture, I couldn't wait until the next day so I could deliver my burritos! (PS: I told Sarah I do not want any information on these bars. They are the best treats I have ever had. They are my jam! I will graciously accept a bag once a year, I told her. Naughty bars! I wonder about adding a bit of Peanut Butter Captain Crunch to the batter? Menopause.)
I am grateful for this man who loves me so, so much. And that he didn't mind that I "bought him" a wooden wine barrel for Christmas! He is a carpenter and will use it as the base to a dining table. We reveled in a couples quiz game where we both failed miserably. Neither of us knew one another's mom's maiden names!! And we both laughed about the game giving us some new, exciting enlightenment! :). This was how our Christmas eve was.
On Christmas morning, one of the gifts Lars gave me married everything I love into one, beautiful book - Food, Africa, Grandmothers..... I can't wait to be inspired! Yes, I had a morning filled with thoughtful gifts from my dear guy. I can't imagine how I got so lucky.
Um, ya, I am pretty sure that there are a gazillion things to be grateful for here. Shall we begin with the cow? I am sure Jesus would agree. I would think Jesus would agree that this very 'inky', "Brion" Cabernet from MY FAVE spot in Sonoma, "B. Wise", is a close second! Zero pretension here folks. Lars has given me the opportunity to cut through some of my worst prejudices - the rich have and remain my target audience when it comes to judging harshly. I own it. But what I have learned and appreciate more than I can express is the absolute delicious pairings that food & wine bring to the party together. I love this wine so much and I can't even tell you how beautifully spot on his prime rib, pop-overs, & cauliflower were! Shaved, fresh horseradish. Although our family is around the country, we were together in spirit and together, the two of us. My guy can cook.
In the midst of it all this December 2022, I would slap on my apron and play, "Shameless" while cooking it up! I can't even. I love playing "Cards Against Humanity" too. And I go to church every Sunday. Yes. All of these things and more. It's okay. oxoxo (Side note: If you are someone who would or who does HATE Shameless, it's okay. My mom would hate it. I will die laughing at pretty much all of season 1-3! I was in the kitchen for 12 hours over two days and I laughed and cooked and laughed and cooked. I recommend. Any show or tune or podcast that makes you belly laugh. Oooo, Hangover the first one is funny! Lol)
Here's the lasagna I made to welcome the neighbors (a few extra ingredients to make individual ones for me and Lars) and the "Hot Chocolate Cheesecake" I made for my church. I also made an extra for Lars and I and sheesh was it RICH!!!! Wowza! My guys from Lockwood woulda loved it! I'm no decorator or baker, but I love cheese and I have made quite a few so I am loving the trials & errors. I love the richness because one cheesecake would feed a large amount of people happily. The lasagna has beautiful, bulk Italian sausage from Central Market, San Marzano tomato sauce that I made & a layered filling of ricotta, cottage, provolone, pecorino-romano & spinach! Fresh parsley, basil & a sprinkle of mozarella! The neighbors have a nice size frozen one that they will be baking and enjoying for the New Year. Can't wait to hear what they think!
I go through life thinking that any down feeling of homesickness or uncertainty, self-pity or anger is something very wrong for me to feel. I have so much, too much, more than enough, love in my life. My kitties - I think if you're an animal person you just know - they bring us so much love and joy. I want only to return that love and joy to them. And to Lars. And to all of those I love and to strangers or new friends, I think we return love and joy best when we are feeling it. Every day. Most days. :).
I knew I didn't have to fret about not being close to my family for another Christmas. They are all happy and safe and we get to reach out to each other always. My brother Jimmer is the real Santa Claus. He paid a visit to our parents. Christmas 2022 Minnesota xoxo
My brother Tony and his wife, Michelle just moved into their brand new, built from their vision home in Wisconsin. I was so excited to hear that mom and dad were going to spend two nights with them for the holidays. Michelle makes delicious sauce and Tony makes Nana's gnocchi! The thought of them all together, and my nephew flew in from Arizona too!, made me happy, not sad. I was so grateful to my brother and sister-in-law. I definitely missed them all when we Face-timed.
This year and last year my Christmases were in Houston. Every other one of my 51 Christmases were always with my whole family - either on the Iron Range, MN, where I was born and raised, or in the Twin Cities, where all of us ended up in our adult lives and also where our parents eventually ended up. Each one of those Christmases, like many of you, are filled with ongoing traditions and if you are lucky, like me, there are so many happy ones to look forward to each year. I do remember my first Christmas without my family. It was in 1994 when I lived in Namibia, Africa. I recall feeling very lonesome for the snow and my family, so my colleagues and students helped me make a VHS for my family for Christmas. Turning my loneliness into something joyful that I wanted my family to see made me feeler closer to them. It was such a beautiful thing to experience Christmas in Namibia's summer! The beach is the destination! Still filled with food, love, Santa and flip flops instead of moon boots.
Christmas in Windhoek, Namibia 1994 at WIS (The Windhoek International School)
My first 22 or 23 Christmases were here in our house in Buhl, MN. My mom and dad raised my three big brothers and I here. Every, single Christmas was something so exciting! The whole month was exciting! Lights and cooking and baking and friends in and out and gifts under the tree. My brothers are 6, 8 and 10 years older. My oldest brother and his best friends, Dick & Mick Senese, would lead us each December with Christmas card making on our dining room table and then about 8 or more of us would walk to the nursing home, sing carols, and hand out cards. I was about 7 when we started that. My brothers were in high school and Joe & his friends were soon to enter community college. What a wonderful tradition. I got to hang with my big brothers and their big friends and walk at night without my parents and bring all of this love to these older folks just by singing and giving some homemade cards. My brothers and their friends taught me a lot of love in that tradition. My parents opened their home to all of us turning the house into a collage' room complete with free food and service. Every one of my Christmases were about love and snow and sliding and food and kisses and Nana's ravioli and attending late night mass and playing board games and laughing at my Godmother give people the finger if she was losing. Friends and family and gifts and fire wood and a mom and dad that tucked me in every, single night. It's no wonder I could share sooooo much love with some friends on the streets yesterday - I have plenty to go around. A lifetime's worth. And it all started in our little house on Memorial Drive.
Joe, Jimmer, Tony and Me in 1973 oxox
I am a better person because of my three brothers.
Well, that was a present to past recap of how truly beautiful this season can be. For many though, especially during times of gathering, people need even more love. I hope I can do more and more and inspire others too. I hope I can meet my friends again soon and invite them to be a part of a cooking show that is just meant to make the world a better place. It is something indescribable to bring as many people with as many stories to the table as possible. And we are all either cooking or eating or both. Some day I will show you. In the meantime, I dedicate this blog today to all of the people that I met on the streets of Houston yesterday! Every, single person I met touched me forever and I really hope we cross paths again soon. I love you! I want you to know, it was not just me - it was all of the love that others started me with & continue to support me with. Like my friend in the pink hat said, "...I wonder what you'll do with all of those blessings?"
Here's an "oldy, but goodie" when I tried recording myself quite a few years ago making my 'burrito-dillas' Orrrr 'Quesarito's' - however you want to look at it. Basically, the thickness of a burrito, but the preparation of a quesadilla - and not a chimichanga because these are not deep fried. :). Link below: oxox
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